Mood:  down

Why?

This is the question that keeps on boggling my mind for the past days.  I tried to understand his situation knowing he is so caught up with tons of work.  Last week, he broke the silence that separates us.  That time I was trying to relive my life without him.  He said so many things that melted my heart...I thought we came up with an agreement that we will remain friends despite everything that had happened between us.  Then last Friday, all his replies to my texts were so cold. As if he does not want to recieve any text messages from me.  I wanted to tell him so great news that happened to me that day.  I thought I can all of them to him since he is my friend.  But with the manner of his responses to me...I got his message not to bother him for a while. 

This morning, as I headed for work, I did the usual thing.  I texted him.  I even tried calling him despite the limited amount of prepaid credits.  I heard a ring from the other line...but my call was diverted to another number.  Why did he have to do that?  What have I done again this time that made him divert my call to another number? 

I got hurt.  Why is he mad at me again?  We exchanged texts messages...I told him what I feel.  And his replies were so cold again as if he is blaming me over something.  I really cannot understand him. 

I opened another of chapter of my life with him.  I wanted to start anew without blaming anyone with my current dilemmas.  I just needed a friend or should I say...trusted friends with me right now.  I do not want to lose them both even if I know they are not totally mine.

Why can't he understand that? I already accepted the fact that we cannot be together due to lots of complications on his side as well as mine.  I already set him free from loving or even staying with me as his another woman.  All I am requesting now from him is to be a very understanding friend.  Why can't he be one right now?

I am so deeply hurt.  I hate myself for being so weak.